Perfect Portraits

For better or worse, Avery is showing signs of being a perfectionist (wonder where she gets that?).  Unfortunately, one of the negative aspects of perfectionism has become evident in her life...she (like her mother) has paralyzing perfectionism and, often, won't even attempt something unless she is pretty sure that she can do whatever it is "perfectly" from the start.  No practicing allowed.  This trait first became obvious to us when Avery began playing soccer in our township.  Before soccer officially began, Avery would go outside and kick and dribble the soccer ball like a champ.  The very first time Jeff and I took Avery out to play soccer with us, Jeff decided he was going to try to teach her to dribble.  He explained to her what he wanted her to do, briefly demonstrated how to do it, and then handed her the ball.  She placed the ball at her feet and took off...dribbling!  We were amazed at how quickly she picked up this skill.

After that day, we were so excited to sign her up for soccer.  We thought she would love it.  We took her to the first day of practice...she saw the other children playing, decided they were better than her, and that was it.  She was done.  She wouldn't even give the practice a shot.  She just wollered around on the ground, crying "I can't do it!"  She wanted to leave and never go back.  We forced her to go to a couple more practices, but, after three weeks of the same behavior, we called it quits.

Avery also has a bad case of paralyzing perfectionism when is comes to coloring/drawing.  Occasionally, she will try to draw something specific but will be frustrated by the end product not being as she had imagined, and she returns to her default method of drawing...simply putting colors on paper.  Lately, I have been trying to work with her on this...to force her hand a bit (literally).  I sit down to color with her and ask her what she wants me to draw on my paper.  She dictates an elaborate scene, piece by piece, and I draw everything she requests.  I am in no way an artist, so my creations are not very impressive (even to a 3 year old, unfortunately).  Avery always points out mistakes that I made and things that don't really look like what they are supposed to, to which I respond with something along that lines of, "That's okay...I tried my hardest, and I like my picture just the way it is."  

This strategy has never really had much of an effect on her...until today.  We were coloring this morning, and, after I completed my guided drawing, Avery said, "Now, Momma, what do you want me to draw?"  As per my requests, she drew a flower, a pirate's treasure map, and (my favorites!) a picture of each member of our family.  It was so cute watching her talk her way through each creation...narrating each mark of her magic marker.  She was so deliberate about every circle drawn, line sketched, and squiggle scribbled.  Occasionally, she decided that a mark made was a "mistake," but--much to my surprise and delight--rather than becoming frustrated and quitting, she adapted...she just changed her drawing plan to happily incorporate the error.  It was so much fun watching her deny her tendency towards seeking perfection and have fun with simply doing her best.  Yay, Avery!

Here are the portraits of the Klick family members:

Daddy

This was her first attempt at drawing a face (during this session, at least).  When she was drawing the "circle" for the head, she said, "Daddy has a BIG head like me."  She was unhappy with the placement of the first eye ("Ohhh, that's not where the eye should go!"), but quickly remedied the situation ("That will just be Daddy's boo-boo.  Oh no, Daddy got hurt!  But, don't worry, he's okay.")

Mommy

I, too, have a boo-boo...this one resulting from a misplaced nose.  I'm not sure if I'm gonna be okay or not...Avery didn't say.  I particularly like the dark circles around my eyes...very realistic.  She made my hair short..."much shorter than mine," she said ...which it is, actually.  When she was drawing my mouth, she said, "and Momma gets a big smile, because she's happy."  I am happy...and I'm glad it is obvious to her.

Avery: The Self-Portrait

Avery's drawing of herself makes me smile.  The nose actually started out as the circle for the head.  She drew the small circle, then said, "My head is much bigger than that...it's okay...I'll just make that circle the nose," and proceded to draw a bigger (head) circle surrounding the first.  She has a big smile "like Momma's" and hair so long that it wraps around her head and underneath her chin.  And the big blue spot...that's her "good eye."

 

Noel

Noel's portrait is so cute!  She made him smaller than everyone else "because he's our baby."  She gave him "poofy" hair (which he has...but hopefully not to that extent!) and made his mouth portray his "squiggly smile" (which I assume is the cute little smirk he often flashes).

I'm so proud of my girl!  She tried hard and did such a great job...  

Jeff and I are sad to see that Avery is often so disappointed in herself and so doubting of her abilities.  In those moments, I wish she could view herself though our eyes...to see herself as we see her...absolutely perfect.  I love my Laney-Lou...