Angel kisses...

During Avery's first year of preschool, she found a new freckle on her foot.  For some reason, she always got very excited about her freckles...as if they were some sort of prize or reward or something.  So, one day, I went to school to pick Avery up from Lunch Bunch, and one of the teachers greeted me at the door and told me that Avery would be right out...she was just finishing up putting on her socks and shoes.  Another teacher brought Avery out to me, and, with a smile on her face, she explained that Avery had taken her shoes off so that she could show everyone her prized new freckle.  The teacher then said that she told Avery that, when she was a child, her mother told her that freckles were kisses from angels.  Avery was in love with the idea that freckles were angel kisses...and, suddenly, each freckle became even more cherished, as, in her mind, they were kisses from her favorite angel...her Grandmother.

Today, after one of Avery's drawing sessions, I was looking through the pictures she drew. There were several pages of her favorite types of drawings (these days, at least)...scenes which include a person or two (usually her and Noel), a happy-looking neon-yellow sunshine, an extremely colorful rainbow, a few super-puffy clouds, several flowers, and green, GREEN! grass. Included in the pile of her work was also a portrait-type drawing of a woman with lots and lots of spots all over her face. I asked Avery who the drawing was of, to which she matter-of-factly replied,

"That's a picture of you after I die and you're still alive." 

A bit confused, I then asked, 

"Why do I have spots all over my face?" 

She responded, 

"Those are all your freckles...because if I die and you are still alive, I will come and give you a million kisses while you are sleeping each night...so that you won't be sad...because you'll know that I still love you, even though I'm gone."

Tears immediately flooded my eyes...not only because I was forced to imagine losing my child and having to face life without her...but also because of how beautifully, sincerely, and selflessly sweet my little girl is...

And then I prayed, with every ounce of my being, that I'll never have to look like this...