Ewww-itis...

Today I was told that I have Ewww-itis.  Doctor #2 (Avery) did the work-up and diagnosis.  It is, apparently, the worst of all "-itis"es.  The first sign of the disease is feet that appear desperate for a pedicure.  Upon recognizing this symptom, Avery demanded I get checked-out.  During the exam, the young doctor kept saying such things as "I've never known a tongue to look like this..." and "Gross!  The roof of your mouth looks so...so...slimy!"  I had to take several droppers full of medicine (which, luckily, tasted a lot like water) and have my leg wrapped up in an bandage.  After a while, Doctor #2 conferred with her superior, Doctor #1 (Jeff), and they decided that the best treatment for my specific case of Ewww-itis would be a long, hot shower.  I love having two doctors in the house...